Undiagnosed ADHD in Adults
Adults who weren't diagnosed with ADHD as children may have difficulty with a variety of issues, including work, relationships and finances. This can often lead to feelings of frustration and anxiety, as well as shame.
When an adult gets diagnosed with undiagnosed ADHD it could be a feeling of relief knowing that they have a clear explanation for the difficulties they've encountered throughout their lives. They could also experience other effects like:
Relationships
Getting married or settling down with a long-term partner usually involves sharing the ups and downs of daily life. Having someone to help run the household, take care of children, and offer emotional support. This isn't always the case for couples where both or one partner have undiagnosed ADHD. Partners who do not have ADHD may be overwhelmed, angry, and feel as if they're being manipulated or nagged by their partner with ADHD. The spouses of those with ADHD can feel emasculated and unwelcome when they are constantly criticized and reminded of how they act in public.
Adults suffering from ADHD often misinterpret their partners their impulsivity and forgetfulness for recklessness or a lack of care. This could lead to arguments and hurtful feelings. Couples may also suffer from a lack in communication, where important issues are left unspoken or ignored altogether.
In adulthood, untreated symptoms of ADHD can have a negative impact on relationships and work. They can also lead to other health issues like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Roy says he believes the government should invest more in training for psychiatrists and to help those suffering from undiagnosed ADHD get the treatment they require as if they are left untreated, these people are more at risk of harming themselves or others.
The best way to prevent these negative effects is to recognize ADHD in yourself and your partner, so that you can manage these issues. Couples who are open, honest and committed are able to overcome the challenges that arise in their relationship, even if they both suffer from ADHD.
If you're having issues in your relationship, discuss it about it with a calm and private manner. Make sure there aren't any distractions or interruptions. Also, keep eye contact during your conversation. If diagnosis of adhd in adults or your partner begins to lose focus then ask them to repeat what they're saying so that they can clearly hear you. It's always best to address these issues whenever they arise, before resentment or anger develops. This will also give your partner the opportunity to apologize if they have not already.
Time Management
Often, the biggest challenge people with ADHD confront is managing their time. They may not know the time it takes to complete a task and may be easily distracted, leading them to procrastinate or fail to meet deadlines. They might also have issues with impulse spending and find it difficult to keep a budget in check. People who suffer from ADHD might also have difficulty staying focused and remembering important information.
Undiagnosed ADHD can cause issues with relationships and finances for adults. Psychiatrists without the proper training may not be able identify the symptoms of ADHD. Many people are not diagnosed until adulthood. Labour's shadow minister for mental health, Barbara Keeley, believes that the government needs to invest more in psychiatrists and education courses for GPs and trainees, since this is essential to making the most accurate diagnoses.
In addition to not being able to manage their time, people who have undiagnosed ADHD are more likely to have difficulty controlling their emotions. They have a difficult of understanding their own emotions and those of others, which can cause problems with relationships. People who aren't diagnosed with ADHD can experience mood swings that can change their opinions about a topic or person.
According to Dr Ashok Roy, who is the head of the Royal College of Psychiatrists' intellectual disability faculty, women suffering from undiagnosed ADHD tend to have problems with inattention, accompanied by emotional and daydreaming issues, whereas men tend to have more hyperactivity and behavioral issues. He suggests that a correct diagnostic process should include an extensive interview that delves into the patient's social and emotional history and also includes an interview with an individual from the family who can provide perspective on the child's behavior.
People with undiagnosed ADHD need to seek a diagnosis and then experiment with different strategies to improve their time management skills and organizational abilities. Some of these strategies include using a planner or color-coding, as along with reminders, notes and daily routines. They can also download a no-cost app such as RescueTime, which tracks usage of websites and apps to help people analyze the things that keep them from working, at what days of the week they are most productive at, and create a strategy for maximizing productivity.
Memory
If you've lived with undiagnosed ADHD for the entirety of their life, memory could be a major problem. People with ADHD can have difficulty with short-term memories and may be unable to remember what they've learned. They also have problems with working memory which is the comparatively small amount of information held in mind when solving problems or following instructions or dealing with emotions or stress.
As an adult, the responsibilities that come with work and family demand more from a person than they did in their childhood. The increased workload, coupled with the symptoms of ADD and ADHD, can put a lot of pressure on the ability to keep up. Often, this leads to delays and disorganization, which can leave tasks undone or handled at the last minute. In time, this may lead to an endless cycle of frustration and low self-esteem and could lead to more untreated ADHD symptoms.
It's possible that a child with ADHD might not be diagnosed because they are masking their symptoms by having poor study habits, a lack of organization skills, or excessive fidgeting. This is particularly the case at work, where people with ADHD might be perceived as unprofessional or lazy due to their lack of focus.
Adults can also have subtler signs of ADHD than children. Hyperactivity is more obvious in children than in adults who are often stressed and overwhelmed by their daily tasks. It's important to pay attention to the subtle symptoms of ADHD as an adult, such as frequent daydreaming, difficulty in following directions, or forgetting important dates and a tendency to take on too many projects simultaneously.
One study found that the problems with working memory that are seen in ADHD adults are rooted in biological factors connected to the frontal part of the brain, which is responsible for impulse control and attention. In the study, those who did better in a 0-back and 1-back n-back memory task had less activity in the region than those who performed less. This finding is consistent with previous studies that have demonstrated a link between ADHD and a decrease in working memory performance.
Fidgeting
For many people, fidgeting is a natural response to feeling anxious or nervous. It may also be a means to ease boredom or to release energy, and can actually help improve concentration. Fidgeting can be a problem for those who struggle to control it. The good part is that you can manage the symptoms and take charge of your life.
It is possible that you have difficulty staying still or paying to classes or meetings. This can be frustrating for you and your colleagues particularly when you are distracted or disappear into your own thoughts. Some people may interpret your fumbling as inattention or ignoring them, and you may be missing important information. This can also affect your performance at work and in your career as well as your personal relationships.
Some people who fidget develop BFRBs (Body-Focused Repeated Behaviors) which can cause harmful and destructive habits like nail biting, hair pulling and dermatillomania. These behaviors are similar but cause physical harm. These actions can be self-destructive and even life-threatening in some situations.

The good news is that you can be taught to overcome the fidgeting problems associated with undiagnosed ADHD and BFRBs. You can redirect your movement towards something more productive, like chewing a bit of gum or using a spinner. You can also limit the amount of time you fidget and also find a partner to check on you if you are over your limit. Additionally, you can try to stop your fidgeting and engage in other activities that stimulate your senses and allow you to remain engaged with the task at present.
It's a great idea to talk to a therapist when you're unsure if your ADHD symptoms have an impact on your life. Answer a few questions from the comfort of home and you can be connected with an accredited professional therapist in just 48 hours. Click the button below to learn more.